I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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