Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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