got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
