i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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