hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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