operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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