I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
