Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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