they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
