READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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