oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
