You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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