Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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