2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
