okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
did i just pee glitter
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
