People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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