the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
