I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
