oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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