i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
