your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
