Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
