Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
