It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
