Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
