Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
So squirting runs in the family.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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