people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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