I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
