last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
