no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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