I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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