No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
