i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Randomize
