Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
