I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
