Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
