I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
