Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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