Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Brb crying the tears of my youth
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
