We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
