This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
