So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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