she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
