Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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