My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize