I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
