To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize