once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
