I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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