How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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