4 words: hood of his car
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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