You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
