Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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