Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
