I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
