Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
