"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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